Diary

How to make fireworks in bed (without firing)

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Nurture your sexual energy and it can become a force for good in  daily life, says sexologist Andrew Barnes, a man who chats about high vibrational bliss states like they're tea and toast.

An 'orgasm coach' and tantra teacher, Andrew is a polyamorous Aussie who can bring piano legs to climax at a hundred paces - no touching.

The key to full body orgasms and an altered state of consciousness between the sheets is for men to learn how to withhold ejaculation and reach for a higher form of sexual joy, he explained at a series of seminars on female and male sexual exploration, attended by the Amorist in west London this week. 

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If that sounds like signing up for a PhD in sensual awareness, you're not far wrong. But luckily there are no dissertations to write and Andrew recommends a lot of exploring in bed to discover the secrets of our arousal, both alone and with playmates. 

If you can find the courage, and time, to reach for higher awareness of our pleasure zones, the benefits include healing of the nervous system and generally being calmer and nicer people. What's not to like? 

Barnes's seminars were laid on by Adam Wilder of Togetherness and included detailed slide shows on male and female anatomy together with wise words on how our social conditioning affects our ability to suffer pleasure without shame and guilt. 

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His assurance that 'every cell in our body' can experience orgasm led to some witty questioning about climaxing at the knee. But nothing could staunch the flow of Barnes's evangelical belief in the benefits of tantric sex. For a man who hadn't ejaculated for over a year, he certainly looked glowing. And it was no surprise to learn that, as a child, he used to engage all the kids in the street in games of Doctors and Nurses.

Further information about Andrew Barnes coaching and courses: awakeningwithin.ngo

For the next Togetherness Festival on 18 and 19 November: togethernesslondon.com

I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure
Mae West